Life lessons from learning how to surf

It’s easy to forget that waves permeate our lives.

After all, as city-dwellers, we are out of touch with nature. Our homes are shaped like boxes. We drive rectangular cars, ride on tubular trains, and work in fluorescent-lit cubes. In a man-made world, our lives fit into neat little packages shaped for society’s convenience.

We forget that outside of our 9-6 jobs, weekend brunches, structured family time, and hackneyed entertainment, there exists a whole other world.

A world which is natural, circular, cyclical, and multi-dimensional.

Waves are more relevant to your life than you can imagine.

In math class, you learned about sine and cosine functions, which are the graphical representation of waves. In physics class, you learned about the electromagnetic spectrum, sound waves, and harmonic oscillators.

Light is a wave. Sound is a wave. Our emotions are waves. Ever watched a sad movie and felt this wave of sadness rise up in your heart? What did you do? Stuff it down and try to ignore it? Or let it wash all over you, feel the magnitude of the emotion, and then let it go?

The process of life itself is like a wave.

I went to Bali to surf because I wanted to catch and ride a wave. I wanted to learn how to ride a wave because I am in the middle of my very own wave – the wave of evolution and growth.

The initial burst of energy that had sparked my journey of evolution was five years ago. Now that wave of energy is mellowing and about to break. I will need to learn how to ride this wave all the way to the shore if I want to complete this cycle of my growth.

What I learned from surfing

1. Paddle like your life depends on it.

To ride a wave, you must first catch a wave. You catch the wave by being in the right position at the right time, and then paddling as hard as you can to match the speed and momentum of the wave. When you feel the wave pushing you, you pop up on the surf board and start surfing.

Surfing is 80% paddling. First you have to paddle out where the waves break, then paddle to catch a wave. The more you paddle, the more waves you can catch. When you see a wave coming, you paddle like your fucking life depends on it. You can’t hold back. Paddle half-heartedly and you lose the wave.

In life, you got to put in the work. I love training and coaching people. But to lead a workshop, I do a lot of prep beforehand. I have to conceptualise the event, gather a team, create marketing materials, market the event, find a venue, prepare the logistics, prepare a script, mock the script, and so on. All for that three hours in which magic happens. This is not even counting the years of training to become an instructor.

But it is all worth it. Nothing beats the feeling of my participants learning something, having a great time, and improving their lives.

In surfing, when you get that beautiful ride all the way to shore, nothing beats that feeling of exhilaration.

So learn to paddle.

2. Position and timing is everything.

It’s almost a cliched sight. A surfer is on the beach, facing the horizon. Surf board in hand, his gaze is fixed on the waves.

What is he looking at?

In order to catch a wave, position and timing is everything.

The surfer is looking for where the waves break. He is looking for the best position to catch the waves.

In life, being in the right place at the right time makes all the difference.

For example, at work, your boss is leaving and you happen to be next in line for a promotion, so you get the promotion.

Or you are a stock investor, and it’s Black Monday. There’s fear everywhere but stocks are also at record low prices. It’s just the right time for you to buy the stocks at a steal.

Always be looking to the sea, scanning for waves.

Always be monitoring the situation and conditions around you so you can best position yourself.

3. You will get wiped out.

Yes, the waves will crash into you repeatedly.

You will get smashed. You will get thrown off your board. You will get washed ashore and flop around on the sand. You will get hurled into a reef.

Even if you do manage to catch a wave and stand up, you might lose balance and fall.

After you’ve paddled your hardest to get a good position, a wave will drag you right back to where you started.

You will fall.

You will fail.

No matter what happens, you get back on that damn surf board and paddle right out again, facing the oncoming waves head on.

That’s the only way you will progress.

That’s the only way you will learn.

No matter how many times you fall, get back on your feet, and get ready to meet the next challenge.

4. The ride is the reward.

After all that falling and paddling and persevering, you manage to catch a wave. Finally!

It’s beautiful! You ride that wave all the way to shore and step off your board like a boss.

You’re so proud of yourself! You look around and wonder, did anybody see that? That was awesome!

Sometimes you’ll see your surf guide looking at you with a thumbs up and a big smile. Sometimes a fellow surfer will be cheering you on.

Most times, nobody will be watching. You’ll be savouring your victory for yourself.

And you’ll realise, this is enough.

The ride was enough. The whole point was always the ride, and the joy of the ride.

The external recognition didn’t matter as much as the sense of accomplishment you felt, catching that wave for yourself and riding it all the way to shore.

That is enough.

5. Desperate situations push you to your limit.

Difficult circumstances bring out your potential.

In one of my surf sessions, the waves were particularly rough. No matter how many times I paddled out, the waves would keep pulling me back to the shore. I was getting tired just being out there, even though I wasn’t really catching any waves.

Our surf guides noted the rough conditions and asked us to head back to shore.

The current was really strong and it was all I could to do remain on my board. I decided that I would stop struggling and simply lie on my surf board. Hopefully I would not get tumbled by the crashing waves too many times.

While I was on my board and the waves were pushing me towards shore, I felt what every surfer wants to feel: I was being pushed along by the momentum of the wave.

I knew what I had to do.

I concentrated really hard, found my balance, and stood up.

That was how I caught my first wave, and rode it all the way to shore.

Not by conscious intention but out of desperation to make it to shore amid the crashing white water.

Sometimes, being out of your comfort zone shows you what you are really capable of.

6. Honour the environment.

In surfing, you’re at the mercy of conditions at sea.

You realise there are forces much bigger than you, and you respect that. You prostrate yourself to whatever comes.

Some days, the waves will be great. Some days they’ll be okay. Some days you could wait for two hours and the sea remains flat.

No matter what, you just keep going out there and you keep surfing.

In life, there are sometimes forces beyond our control. There are waves of globalisation, digitisation, and mechanisation.

Perhaps there’s a new CEO taking over your company. Maybe the economy is headed for a recession. Maybe a new president is being elected. Each of these forces is bigger than us, and they are like waves coming at us.

We can’t control these macro forces any more than we can control the waves.

But we do have a surf board.

We can orientate ourselves such that we are in a good position to meet the challenges. We can paddle as hard as we can and learn to surf the wave as best we can.

Yes, there are forces beyond us. But we are not helpless. We can learn to surf.

7. Follow the natural rhythm of things.

There is a natural order to things and a natural rhythm to life. After surfing, your body is tired. You allow yourself to rest and recover for a few hours before going for the next session.

After surfing, your rash guard is wet. You hang it out to dry and let nature do its thing. Tomorrow, your rash guard will be dry and ready for the next surf session.

In our daily lives, we use a lot of our mental and emotional capacities, without remembering that our hearts and minds need breaks too.

We think we are robots that can keep going without downtime. We think we have to keep pushing ourselves until we break down.

In surfing, that would be counter-productive. One of the most valuable things my surf guide taught me was to take a break when you’re tired. When you’re tired, you can’t paddle fast, you can’t position yourself well, you can’t balance, you cannot surf.

Follow the natural order of things. Work, and then rest. Rest your mind, give your intellect a break. Rest your heart, give your emotions a break.

There is a time to work and a time to rest. You need both to keep performing at your best.

Gurdjieff’s Law of Seven

This section will be about the mechanics of a wave as we experience it internally. I will use jargon and technical terms.

(If you don’t like heavy reading you can skip this section.)

George Gurdjieff was a mystic, philosopher, and spiritual teacher who observed that processes do not unfold in a straight line. There are points at which a process deviates. This can be understood by the the Law of Seven.

Just like there are seven notes in the diatonic scale, there are seven stages we go through every time we try to achieve a goal. There are two points at which the process would deviate: at the 3-4 and the 7-1. You can see this clearly in the musical scale, where there is only one semitone between mi and fa, and between ti and do.

What this means for you is: If you have set off in a certain direction with a certain goal in mind, there will be times when you feel a natural surge in emotion. You feel motivated to keep working towards your goal. Then there will be times when you feel a lull. You get discouraged. You get distracted. You think about giving up. This is when you use your willpower and discipline to double down and keep going.

I went surfing because I wanted to learn more about this seven-stage process. Given that the Law of Seven is based on the fact that the universe consists of vibrations, and waves consist of particles vibrating, these concepts are very much intertwined.

So here is what I learned about the seven stages, represented by my progress and psychological states during each of the seven days I spent surfing.

Day 1 – Super excited to begin. Energetic high. I don’t have much expectations and am down for trying anything. Am dependent on others to teach and guide me as I don’t really know what I am doing. I can stand up on the surf board.

(A question arises: Who am I in this new environment, in this new situation, in this new endeavour?)

Day 2 – There is still energy from the initial excitement but less. It’s getting more difficult to surf as the waves are now rougher. There are more external challenges to overcome. Still, I am making progress. My balance is improving.

Day 3 – There is some momentum built up. I’ve got some small wins. Succeeding at standing up and making it to the shore gives me even more energy to progress. I challenge myself by going further out to sea, where I must paddle more to catch a wave. I am getting tired but I still surprise myself by catching waves out of my comfort zone.

Day 4 – A crisis of sorts, as external circumstances grow too much for me to handle. This is where I got desperate due to the rough conditions and caught my own wave. I have done better than what I thought I could, yet I am crashing energetically as I am getting really tired and my body feels exhausted. After surfing I lie in bed unable to move.

(A decision is reached: In this circumstance, in this situation, in pursuit of this goal, this is how I orientate myself. This is who I am.)

Day 5 – There is lightness and joy. I am getting better now, and I can catch my own wave. It is not as scary as I thought. I am starting to enjoy myself. My body is fatigued and I have a desire to recover. My emotional state starts to mellow. I am happy and comfortable.

Day 6 – I am really, really tired. However, once I get out into the water, I am fine. My mind is too tired to do anything consciously. I am doing everything instinctively. Now I see the waves in slow motion. A flip has occurred where I am now more at ease at sea than on land. On land, emotions are flowing. There is a yearning to simply ‘be’ and to integrate what I have learned.

Day 7 – Feeling well-rested and energetic. Body pains are gone. I feel relaxed. I did well in the morning session and got promoted to the next level. At the next level, it is challenging but I still manage to catch a few waves. Feeling grateful and appreciative. A lightening of mood. Chill and detached.

(Day 8/1 – Another crisis. I wake up feeling very sad as it is my last day. My surfing is quite terrible and I can’t do simple things that I was able to do before, like standing up on the board.)

External waves and internal waves

In life there are both external circumstances and internal conditions. We must learn to surf both proficiently to reach our goals.

External circumstances are demands placed upon you that are beyond your control. For example, at the end of every school year there are exams. At the end of every month, you must pay your utility bill. Every day, the sun rises and sets. These are all external structures that you must adhere to. You adjust yourself to function in the world.

Then there are internal conditions. For example, at some points in your life you will feel that it is time for change. You get bored at your job and you seek more meaningful work. Or you suddenly crave adventure and wish to travel the world. Maybe you start to feel like it’s time to start focusing on your internal states and subjective experience of life, as opposed to being focused on external achievements.

Each of these desires is like a wave too. Many times, we neglect our internal voices because we are so busy trying to meet external demands.

But to really discover ourselves and get to our inner truths, we must learn to surf and navigate the internal waves as well.

Surfing vs diving

I’ve been both surfing and scuba diving, and I love both.

Both are similar in the sense that you have a ritual before you go out to sea. In surfing, you apply sunblock and put on your rash guard. In diving you check your BCD, regulator, and put on your wetsuit.

In both surfing and diving, you let go and open yourself to uncertainty. Will the waves be large or small? Will there be current? Will I see a sea turtle today? Maybe a manta ray? A whale shark? Lots of fish? Who knows. Whatever happens, I am grateful for the opportunity to be part of nature’s great unfolding.

It’s such a great metaphor for life. In life, you do the necessary work and prepare yourself as best you can, then let go and embrace what comes.

There is a difference, however, between surfing and diving.

Surfing happens at the surface, where the waves are turbulent and ever-changing. Diving happens below the surface, where the water is still and calm.

In diving, all I have to do is breathe. I float easily, and fin myself slowly to wherever I want to go. Diving is all about conserving energy, minimising air consumption, and just being.

In the stillness I hardly move, yet I see beautiful reefs, fishes, sharks, turtles, and other pelagic creatures.

Diving is about depth, stillness, and grace.

Surfing is about turbulence, adrenaline, and action.

In life we need both depth and shallowness.

We need the depth to go into ourselves and ask ourselves what we truly want. How am I really feeling? Is this the life I really want to be living? Am I living in alignment with my values? What do I really, truly want?

Once we figure out the answers, we need the shallowness in which we interact with reality to manifest our dreams. We need to participate in the world and make things happen.

But always remember:

It is beneath the turbulent waves, in the depths of your soul and the core of your being, where you will find your truth.